Life is messy, crazy, fun, tragic, entertaining, boring and should be a great big adventure…the adventure of discovering who you are and what your life’s purpose is….along the way loving wholeheartedly and embracing what you like and how you want to live.
If you are stuck in situations that are not making you feel joy then you need to assess what’s happening and how you got there.
Love to travel but haven’t left the country in ten years? You might want to downgrade the mortgage, bend rules about only going away during school holidays and book something in….even if it’s a year away.
Believe in love but find yourself at loggerheads with your husband and constantly complaining about him? Invest in your relationship, compromise, talk about your issues, go on date night, get intimate but most importantly change your mindset – think constantly about how much you love your husband instead of thinking how annoying he is.
No me time because your a Mum? Book some things in for you and do it…I bet you say yes to every party your kids get invited to and your husband still gets to golf….so do it…value yourself enough to focus on what you want.
You get one life. This is NOT a dress rehearsal and we don’t know when this ride is going to come to an end.
So what do you need to do to change your life?
Own your choices
No one made you take that job that you hate. No one has a gun at your head making you keep the huge mortgage. Your kids are another choice you made.
Own them and if they don’t make you happy, make other choices. Get help with the kids, change your routine, quite your job, move house, see a financial advisor – work it out – don’t just complain and make yourself miserable. Everything in your life right now is happening because of decisions and choices you made.
It’s scary as hell being honest. Owning up to breakages, mistakes, errors in judgement and telling people things that they don’t want to hear. Honesty.
I was forever ducking and weaving the hard questions – essentially not being who I was, I was pleasant, agreeable and who other people wanted me to be.
Or so I thought but being honest, being true to yourself is ultimately more attractive to the people you really want in your life.
The other lesson here is let others be themselves. By all means tell them if it makes you unhappy – that you won’t be able to live with it and let them decide but don’t do it to turn them into something they are not. Don’t stifle them.
Be All In
You married him. Complaining about your husband is not helping the situation. Talk to him – explain your feelings – and hear him out. You may think you do everything but I can guarantee you between work, finances, spending time with the kids and trying to be happy himself – he thinks he is doing everything too. Comparison can be a bitch. You are pissed he is not doing the dishes like everyone else’s husband but what you are not considering is that things that he does do that others don’t. There is never one side to the story.
Why not talk about the good things he does? Tell him? Appreciate. Your thinking starts to change and when your thoughts change your life changes. Believe me.
Another example of being all in is accepting your choices and rolling with them. If you hate your job but you love your house and are not willing to reduce your mortgage size and you need the job then do what you can. Speak to your boss about flexi-hours, a dfiferent role, more/less responsibility and then own the choice. Go to every workday happy because that is how you own the home you love.
Roll with the Punches
There are some years that are hard, busy, stressful but life goes in cycles. Buckle down and do what you need to do with the hope of unfolding a path to your dreams.
This year I had a baby, emergency caesar, a baby in hospital twice, we bought a house, are selling a house, are renovating a new one and we are dealing with three gorgeous boys, two who are a little bewildered by the pace of the changes in our lives.
I’m on little sleep and am riding out the year with juices, take-away food and coffee. It happens. I am surfing the waves to my dreams and it takes balance at the moment not to crash.
I’ve also struggled with not being able to follow every dream I want to but sometimes its best to focus on one dream at a time and then just live your life in harmony.
I’ve found out I am happier that way.
Which leads me to my next point
Let life unfold at it’s own pace
Stop pushing. Stop stressing. Put the worry and the busy down. You don’t need them. Focus on this week, this day, this hour, this minute. Whatever makes it easier to deal with. Sometimes the big picture is too overwhelming and makes you want to give up and crawl back into your shell.
For example if you want to sell your house worrying and stressing will achieve the same result is if you were slightly more chilled about the whole process. It will happen when it is meant to happen.
Be in this moment.
I’m so grateful I made these beautiful choices :)