Mummy Moments

We all have them. We think we won’t. That we’ll be more empathetic, refined and under-control but we do these things because it comes with the territory.

Mummy Moment #1

The School Drag (as seen by many other Mums who chuckle to themselves because they are thanking God it wasn’t their turn today)

“I don’t wanna go to school.”

“Get out of the car now!”

“No.”

Child is dragged screaming and kicking to school (where once there he plays happily and you are told by teacher he is no trouble).

Mummy Moment #2

The Poo Scream

That moment where your tiny child bursts into tears and freaks out because Mummy is screaming and won’t stop.

He has no idea why but he knows he is in trouble and it’s breaking his heart.

Mummy can’t get a handle on herself because there is POO in the bath.

 

Mummy Moment #3

That’s a naughty word. He said the wrong thing. He knows it, you know it. But you have to laugh. So does he.

That’s when you get a hold of yourself and bring on the discipline and he doesn’t know what’s hit him.

Then you run downstairs to laugh about it with your husband.

 

Mummy Moment #4

You get out the paint stuff. You pat yourself on the back for being good Mummy. He misses the paper and puts it on the table. That’s ok, your fault, you forgot to put newspaper down. And you forgot his smock.

Ok smock on, newspaper down.

He accidentally tips all the paints onto the floor and the paintbrush lands in your lap. That’s ok, we can clean that up. Off you go to get some water and a sponge.

When you get back he’s taken off his smock, he’s left all the paints and he’s in the playroom. He’s finished painting.

“F#@K!!!!”

 

Mummy Moment #5

Your making dinner. You’ve had five choruses of “We’re hungry.” There’s some screaming going on. There’s some tugging. Some pulling. A little person that has squeezed himself between you and the hot oven.

More screaming.

“Stop it.”

“Get out of the kitchen.”

“Dinner’s not ready!!”

The sixth chorus begins and you lock yourself in the pantry.

Not ALL of these have happened to me THIS week. 

 

Enjoy your little darlings and remember we’re out there – other Mama’s just like you. 

xx

Love List

I haven’t written a love list in a couple of weeks. My head has been too full of stories and tales to just keep it short, simple and grateful.

But today I feel like thanking the world for quite a few things.

New clothes

I am hopeless at keeping things stain free. I am carefree about what my kids are wearing and what they are eating…until the stains don’t come out. I’m looking at you pumpkin soup, green juices and beetroot.

So I am eternally grateful to my Mother and Mother-in-law who are amazing enough to keep buying the kids clothes.

I also still send out the really stained stuff in bags to my Mum to get the stains out.

Yep, I’m not quite all grown up yet

Jamie Oliver 

I could write a whole post on him but you might get bored of me waxing lyrical about him (I think I have a crush).

What I wanted to say was I believe we are just so used to him campaigning for real food, for better food in kid’s schools and for revolutionsing the way we see food that we forget to be thankful.

I was on his food revolution website yesterday and just reading through the power point presentations he provides for YOU to be the change at your school and looking through his manifesto and the government hoops he jumps through to try and make a difference to how the next generation is fed.

Yes his food is delicious.

But this guy is changing the world. 

Below are pictures of my family at Jamie’s Kitchen – salad comes with the kids meals as does a badge proudly declaring they have eaten all their greens – genius!

Spirooli

It’s in the mail. It’s heading over to me. It’s going to change the way I see food. Soon I’ll be making sweet potato crisps, zucchini noodles, apple slices and gorgeous looking salads.

If you don’t know what it is – it is an amazing vegetable slicer and dicer and spiral. (image from rawissexy.com)

Kids Books from Hay House

I wanted some thought provoking, confidence-giving books for the kids that have really great messages about self-love and being kind. Who better to turn to than the people at Hay House. I’ve ordered some by Wayne Dyer and the gorgeous Louise Hay.

And just a a few more things:

Sunshine; family; friends; children’s laughter; tickles; sleep; love; happiness; dancing; health; herbal tea. 

Wishing you joy, happiness and giggles today  

The Pyjama Years

I’ve really stuffed myself up this term.

Julian has two days a week where he doesn’t go to Kindy but I have scheduled swimming and kidz in sport at 9:30 on those days.

Why have I stuffed myself up?

Because I lose my pyjama days.

You know the days where you don’t get anyone dressed until Midday. Where the kids play freely,build cubbies and amuse themselves? Where you get to do your own thing instead of frantically organising?

I’ve heard people say guiltily, “I didn’t get out of my pyjamas all day.”

I’ve also heard it like this, “I didn’t get out of my pyjamas all day!!”

I know which camp I’m in.

(Image: http://www.tashachawner.com.au)

I wear my pyjama days with pride and I’ve just had a panic. This is my last year before full-time school rips this opportunity from me and here I am voluntarily scheduling things in!

To be honest the only reason I thought of this was because I was kind of hung-over yesterday.

I don’t know what happened. One minute I had a glass of wine which I sprayed diligently with my anti-sulphur spray and the next it’s morning and my head is pounding.

You know what I blame this on? Drinking less during the week.

It’s taken a while but I’ve nearly all but given up my daily glass of vino to ease the stress and strain of life is a stay at home Mum. Instead I’ve embraced herbal teas and park time.

So my tolerance is down.

Then I go to a party and I think I’m still the girl that can have a few wines and be just fine.

No.

No.

No.

Not any more.

I’m both frustrated and proud.

Looks like I need to learn that a glass of water in between is actually both hydrating and necessary for slowing down my consumption.

But I’ve got off topic…..

All I wanted to say to Mums with non-school age children and especially to new Mums is… ENJOY!.

Don’t feel guilty because you haven’t showered and literally don’t have the energy to put on clothes – just enjoy that little bundle, toddler, naptime…..and revel in the fact that it won’t last forever and you will treasure these moments later on.

Just as you treasure now the sleep you used to get and the free time you had….you will treasure these days. 

 

Dear Mamas

Dear Mamas,

You think you should be doing more, being more, giving more. 

You think you need to keep the worries of the world on your shoulders. 

You think that if you drop all the balls you are juggling, you won’t be able to pick them up. 

You think if there is time for you to rest then something hasn’t been done. 

You feel guilt – it rides like waves across the ocean – some big, some small but a constant force – tugging you forward, yet making you feel small. 

Like you are not enough.

But You Are. 

You are doing enough. 

You are doing your best.

You are the definition of love to your children.

So if you take time.

Time to be yourself. Time to do the things you love. Time to just sit and cuddle your children.

The world will not end.

A new world will begin.

 

 

 

 

 

Future Tripping….

It’s about this time last week that I F-bombed my child. 

Watching him happily swimming this week I had to wonder – who’s problem was it that he didn’t want to get into the pool?

From his point of view: 

Ready for swimming – nope we gotta wait, Nanna’s not here yet.

For some reason Mum’s not bringing Leo. Nanna’s still not here.

Mum’s a little bit hypo about it. She’s freaking me out.

Ok Leo is now in the car. Nope we’ve stopped; there’s Nanna’s car. There goes Leo.

Now we are racing to swimming. She’s dragging me. That’s not cool. Not sure about this anymore. It’s kinda cold.

Nah Mum, it’s not happening today. Why are you screaming at me? I’m not feeling like it today. Why do I have to? You are freaking me out. Great now I’ve lost my DVD privileges. There goes the trip to Nannas. I still don’t want to get in though. Oh well. 

Future Tripping….

Meanwhile I’ve given up on the $17 for the lesson. Plus the rest of the lessons. That’s $170 he’s cost me now. He’s obviously never swimming again so now he’s going to be the child that can’t swim. He’ll probably get teased.

“Get in the pool Julian!”

No he still won’t go. How do I make him bend to my will? His whole future is going down in flames….right here….right now. 

People trip themselves up like this all the time. 

How many times have you stressed over money? Obsessed about not having enough – feel physically sick? Only to have it turn out fine or at least find some kind of solution?

Ever given up your whole healthy eating regime because of a guilt-laden chocolate bar? You’ve tripped into the future and obviously failed, you’ve got no willpower and won’t be able to stick to it. 

So what’s the solution? 

Stay in the present. 

It takes practice. It takes patience. It takes courage. 

Last night I was watching the prelude videos to the Hay House Summit  and Louise Hay mentioned that all problems can be solved by learning to love yourself. She says that in childhood we hear “NO.” “Stop”. “Don’t do That.” “That’s wrong.” so much that we end up growing up not knowing who we are. 

But how do we not do this to our children Louise? What is the solution?  

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. 

Are parents too busy future tripping that we are not worried about our children being themselves? Do we just want them to be on the path to good swimming, good manners, a prosperous future? 

I haven’t got he answers for you but I will be tying to be more mindful. Today. Right now. 

 

 

My Precious (Present) Moment

There are few opportunities these days to really be present.

Or should I say, every moment is an opportunity, but we are rarely open to them.

This morning, I didn’t touch my phone – except to get some happy snaps, I just focused on cuddling my first born and REALLY paying attention to him.

It was the Mother’s special day at kindy and we were asked to leave our littlies at home and I’m so glad I did (thank you for babysitting my beautiful best friend) because it was Julian’s special day.

It started with a really long and fun cuddle this morning when he woke up and came into our room. The chilly morning had us giggling under the blankets, playing rock paper scissors (he just does what I do which doesn’t make it a great game) and eeni meeni miney mo – (he doesn’t like it when he loses).

We got to school and the kids were asked to look into their Mummy’s eyes and sing a song about giving their heart to their Mummies.

I teared up at his rendition of You are My Sunshine, especially when he said, “Sunshine is in we’re hearts.” He still doesn’t have the grammatical term our in his vocabulary yet and it’s just adorable.

We read a book about loving our Mummies and then they did the funniest dance (Ku Di Ta) which all the Mummies joined in. Scones were served and the best thing was that the kids had made them for us.

I also got this (the resemblance is uncanny)

These are the moments that far surpass the moments that you dream about having when you have children. 

Blow those unrealistic expectations out of the water. 

This is life. 

This is love. 

Father’s Day VS Mother’s Day

Here is my guess to how a man’s mind works on Father’s Day:

Get up: There’s my children, my wife – love those guys. Is there NBA on?

Lunchtime: Beer O’clock! Yes. Footy Time.

6pm: I’m hungry. Excellent my wife is in the kitchen cooking. Time for another beer.

Bedtime for the children : Time to wrestle them and really rile them up!

Midnight: Best day ever. No one nagged me and the wife kept the children at bay all day. Why isn’t everyday like this?

Interspersed with thoughts about sex, work and the scores of the games they are not watching.

 

Mother’s Day

(My version)

Children are fetched by my hubby. Presents are given (and approved of), I even got a card! Hubby +5

Hubby jumps straight in the shower.

I go downstairs and give Leo his milk. -1

I get my own cup of tea. – 2

I get the kids dressed whilst hubby on computer. -2

We head out to breakfast, have a lovely time (I got the children’s breaky -1, he hung out with the kids in the playground +1)

Head home and stop at Sophia’s grave. Hubby’s suggestion +3

I actually, truly had a great time getting things done in the house. As did he. The kids were having a pretty good time and were well-behaved.

Hubby asks if I’d like to go out for lunch or dinner. I say no. +2

We make lunch together (sort of – I make him fry the veal) whilst I heat up the soup and make the salad.

We head out for a walk and so Julian can ride his bike. There is a slight bit of tension over him doing dishes or leaving that moment as I had to go to Yoga and wouldn’t have time if he did. -1

Lovely walk. Race off to Yoga. Think about dinner. There is a chance that what we have left in the fridge could make up a shepherds pie. Yep I like that thought better than going to the shops.

Yoga was great.

Get home. Start racing around making dinner as its late and Leo’s screaming for it. He sits in his high chair winging at me for 45 mins whilst my hubby is nowhere to be found (read outside picking up dog poo, putting my car away, removing pool equipment from our backyard). -2

I ask him repeatedly to remove Leo or help with dinner. “Yep, be there shortly.” -5 when I find him in the garage chatting to the neighbour.

Cue hormone-induced crying fit. Defensiveness from hubby.

Over dinner I say, “I need sorry and a hug – not your defence strategy.”

We make up and all is well in the world.

What I find fascinating about this is putting myself in his shoes…..

Got wife’s present – Husband of the year. 

Kids out of bed. Wife gets a second of peace in bed. Husband of the year. 

Breakfast. I’m finally fed – now I’ll take the kids off my wife. Husband of the year.

Get home – house stuff to do. I’ll finally put those tints on her car window. Look over here wife. Husband of the frickin year!

Here I am cleaning the pool wifey – see me? Husband of the year!

And here’s me again  cleaning up the dog’s mess. Husband of the year!

I’ll move your car into the garage for you babe. Look there’s our neighbour. “Hi neighbour, just about to claim my Husband of the year title today.”

Head’s back into the house (wife tornado and flurry of tears.) 

WTF?????

I hope you all had an amazing Mother’s Day and enjoyed your day, your men and your munchkins xx

The Day I F-Bombed My Child

I feel itchy telling you this.

A bit shaky.

Obviously consumed with guilt and mortification.

Who to blame?

Lack of sleep? Too much caffeine? Julian for his refusal to get in the swimming pool? My Dad and his penchant for the same word when mad?

No I think it’s because I am human.

As Mothers (and Father’s), we forget that we are not perfect.

We keep up our standards and if we can’t we hide these dirty secrets with shame.

If you keep these secrets, if you hold on to them, they fester and make you feel less.

So I thought I’d admit it, have a laugh about it, double the hugs for Julian. I’ll take any criticism you want to give me so I can help those that are hiding their own less-than-perfect motherhood secrets. 

I’m trying to be authentic, true to who I am and I come with faults. I don’t swear much but if I am mad….it’s hard to keep it in.

I said something along the lines of, “Get the fffff in the pool.” My tricks weren’t working and I got really, really mad. Instant regret. Hopefully no one else heard me. Hopefully Julian didn’t register the naughty word. I just changed tactic and moved on.

Moved on with my day and with my week.

Basked in the smile Julian gave me yesterday when I picked him up, as he shouted to the teacher proudly, “That’s my Mum!”

And I am.

I’m his Mum, I’m not perfect, and I love him with my whole heart.

 

 

 

 

 

Great Expectations (of Mother’s Day)

What is your ideal Mother’s Day?

The movie version – where your children bounce on you in the morning and your shirtless, designer-stubble husband brings in your tray of coffee and breakfast? You lean in for hugs and everyone giggles and laughs and its a big love fest?

or

The Real Version – where you are entitled to the sleep in but can’t sleep because you can hear the children and your hubby fighting/screaming/laughing having fun downstairs without you? You go downstairs expecting hugs and kisses but the kids run away to hide their chocolate smeared faces from you and your husband won’t meet your eyes?

I would take real any day.

When you start to expect the movie version you miss out on the fun stuff of life.

What’s real.

What’s authentic.

Everybody being themselves instead of playing a part.

I giggle when I think what it will be like.

But it’s not like I don’t have a wishlist…..

On Mother’s Day I hope:

That everyone feels loved

That everyone feels happy 

That everyone feels content

And that my wish for my new gym bag comes true…..

 

I do like to make things less stressful at gift-giving time.

I’m selfless like that

Missing: Sleep

I’ve lost it.

The handle.

The one I used to have on my life.

It’s shiny, cool and solid. It makes me feel good to hold it.

But it’s gone.

I lost it sometime between the coffee and the drinks on Saturday night.

I remember drinking a coffee at 5pm when headed out to a ball to have a great night (I’m usually in bed by 9:30pm so this is a strategy to keep me pepped up) then I made a juice – with enough leftover for the next morning – and then went out.

I had a few wines and champagne then headed onto the dance floor by ten and didn’t touch another drop.

I was home and asleep by two pm. I had plans to drink the juice when I got up around 8am, then pop to the bakery for croissants,  then go get the kids.

Instead I woke up wide-eyed at 5am and couldn’t get back to sleep. My brain raced for strategies on how to fix this problem and what it would mean for the day ahead.

I zombied walked through my day and didn’t go to book club. I let the kids do whatever they wanted  and there was no time to lie down. I tucked myself in bed by 8:30 that night and sighed with relief.

Then Leo woke at 5am. So much for a catch up sleep.

I downed two coffees and said yes to a third whilst at sport with Julian. ALl before 10am.

I went to bed at 10pm and woke at 12am.

I tried everything, chamomile tea, read a book, meditated, counted sheep, got up for a while, ate food.

I finally drifted off at 4am and woke dazed and confused at 6:30am.

I gave coffee a miss and drank about seven herbal teas instead. I hydrated, I balanced, I curled up in a ball so the kids couldn’t find me…..

I tried to lie down but nothing. No sleep.

Finally, last night, sleep came back to me. It was awesome.

But you know that hung-over feeling you get the day after you missed sleep? That’s me.

Then Julian refused to get in the water at swimming. My fuzzed up brain grappled to find anything that would get him in that pool, I yelled, I threatened, I tried to get him excited about the pool activities, I tried and tried and then gave up.

Now I had to go through with my threats.

My Mum took Leo instead of him out on an activity; he has no TV today (punishment for me); his new Turtle DVD has been confiscated until further notice and there are no treats in sight for him.

I punished him by dragging him to three different shops to find a throw for our couch and then he had a tuna, carrot,cucumber wrap for lunch and a beetroot juice.

He is surprisingly upbeat.

He has no idea that his Mum is on the verge of a break down and a break up…..

I think coffee and I are having some problems.