Parenthood – The Thankless Task

Our job is not to get but to give.

To give love, to say love, to be love – yet we must wait until they use this love and become this love before they give.

But they will give, to you and to others. 

This is out greatest role as Mothers. 

Since I cried….see post here….I have been upbeat, on-top, constantly in motion and let me just say it….a seriously awesome Mum.

We have gone places, done things, been silly, been happy. I have let them be free, let them be themselves and not worried too much about the future (ie if I let them somersault on the couch will they always do it and become boundary-less criminals?).

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And you know what?

I expected to be rewarded.

I wanted great behaviour, unlimited “I love yous” flowing from their mouths and of course hugs and kisses that didn’t come with bribed conditions (ie if you hug me you can get the iphone back).

Yes unconditional love was there in the background but I was expecting – big time.

And when they didn’t deliver?

Well I had to have a talk.

To myself.

Expectations set us up for a fall and put unrealistic rules and conditions on our love.

By giving away expectations you find greater joy and understanding.

I have to lose the expectations that Julian will want to tell me everything 

I have to give up the fact if I say I love you I won’t get it back all the time

I have to give up the notion that if I parent perfectly then my child will be protected from the world’s disappointments 

But how do we give away expectations?

1. Try to be present – stay in your reality and stop future-tripping

2. Lose expectations and instead be open to possibilities

3. Believe in the love you are giving 

4. Be focused on what you give, not what you get, lose your attachment to outcomes. 

5. Realise we are powerless in controlling others – we can only be ourselves. 

Do you expect more when you feel like you are giving more? I would love to hear from you on this subject xx

 

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8 thoughts on “Parenthood – The Thankless Task

  1. Sometimes I get frustrated at the oft times thanklessness of parenting. But just when that happens, I am rewarded with some recognition that what I’m doing is all right. A little smile, word or gesture, easily missed while waiting for the big rewards, but they are there.

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